- no longer a teenager
- still female
- unhappily employed
- decidedly un-PC
- a writer
- an improvisor
- an actor
- occasionally hilarious
- vain to no end
- living in los angeles
- pursuing my dreams
- full of shit
Chat with 1 note
- me: whoa this is great no one else is using the laundry room I can clean all my clothes!
- me: that's because it's friday night. everyone else it out. doing things.
- me:
Chat with 9 notes
- producer 1: so here's what I'm thinking, it's set in 1905, on the battleships of both the russian and japanese fleets at the battle of tsushima, and the story -
- producer 2: OR IT TAKES PLACE NOW IN AMERICA AND LIAM NEESON RUNS THE NAVY AND HIS DAUGHTER IS BROOKLYN DECKER IN A BIKINI AND HER BOYFRIEND IS ALSO IN THE NAVY AND THEY'RE DOING NAVY THINGS WHEN ALL OF A SUDDEN BAM ALIENS SHOW UP BUT THEY'RE NOT REGULAR ALIENS THEY'RE SEA ALIENS SO INSTEAD OF THE ARMY DOING ANYTHING ABOUT IT THE NAVY GUYS HAVE TO GET ON THEIR BATTLESHIPS AND DESTROY THEM
- producer 1: but the last american battleship was decommissioned in 1992 -
- producer 2: AND RIHANNA IS THERE AND SHE SAYS "BOOM!"
- studio head: I like the sound of that second idea
- producer 1: but -
- studio head: the second one.
Quote with 4 notes
I believe injustice is one of the greatest self-educators. Continue to tell me I’m not an American and I will continue to demonstrate how much of an American I am. Continue to tell me my love isn’t valid and I will show you just how valid and beautiful my love is. Continue to write injustices and inhumanities into law and I will continue to exemplify the true definitions of justice and humanity.
Chat with 5 notes
- friend: so can you introduce me to any girls in l.a.
- me: I can make you a really funny okcupid profile
Link reblogged from Nick Kuyat with 5 notes
Nick Kuyat: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS CHILD? →
Nick Kuyat, Age 8 in photograph
You should, because now he’s a little- well okay a lot- older and a lot funnier.
Go see Nick Kuyat at the Comedy Underground (109 South Washington Street) in Seattle on April 30th at 8PM.
There will be many other comedians performing too!
Admission is…
I hope that it is a testament to how funny and strange and extremely entertaining my friend Nick Kuyat is that in all seven months of my tumblrs existence this is my first and only reblog.
Source: nickkuyat
Post with 1 note
Look
If I’m riding the elevator down from the 9th floor and it stops at the 2nd floor to pick you up before we hit ground level, you better be one of the goddamn following:
- pushing a stroller with one or more babies in it.
- crippled in one or more legs.
- carrying one or more boxes of food that you then share with me.
- pregnant.
- devastatingly old.
If none of these apply to you, I get to punch you in the gut.
Post with 3 notes
Sometimes
I feel like the fact that I can only fall in love with Jews and the fact that my biggest fear is getting pregnant coupled with all notions of filmic foreshadowing and literary irony can only mean that one day I am going to bear the Messiah.
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